I Get What I Believe And Expect

I’ve been listening to and following Iyanla Vanzant a lot recently and love her. For those who don’t know who she is, Iyanla is a spiritual teacher, motivational speaker, life coach and author. I admire her passion, humor, wisdom and her approach to helping others. One day, I was listening to a video on her YouTube channel called, Who is Responsible if Your Heart Gets Broken (hint: it’s your responsibility). Now, heartbreak doesn’t only apply to partnerships or love-ships, but to friendships, family-ships, and work-ships as well.

Although the video was centered around heartbreak and responsibility, there were key points Iyanla made that can apply to various areas of life, but what really stuck out to me was a statement she made, “We don’t get what we ask for. We get what we believe and we get what we expect.” This means that we consciously and subconsciously create expectations and beliefs driven by past experiences that are reinforced in the situations and people we attract. When she said that, it made me reflect on the beliefs and expectations I have that hinder me, and how they show up in my life today.


To shed light on these beliefs and expectations and to move away from them, this week’s affirmation is “I Get What I Believe And Expect.” I’m also going to focus on some intentions to keep me on track:

  • Be aware of the people and situations I’m attracting.
  • Acknowledge the expectations and beliefs that hold me back and how they show up.
  • Create more positive and realistic expectations for others and myself.
  • Productively respond to what I experience.

Remember, “by coming into a new experience, holding onto our historical beliefs, understandings, perceptions and expectations, the mind will create more of the same and in life,” says Iyanla in her video. So, if you have a pattern of running in and out of relationships, because you expect to get hurt, that’s what you’re going to attract. If you believe you’re not going to find a career field you love, because the other ones you tried sucked, you’re going to attract more crappy ones. This isn’t to blame or shame anyone–especially for what someone else chooses to do or not do, but to be aware, learn from and take responsibility for what we create.

If you want to change your reality, change your expectations and beliefs. And, we can do it together, starting now.


Author: shesamillennial

I know I know my name looks like Brian (story of my life), but it’s actually pronounced bree-an. Let’s see, I’m a 24-year old donut eating wine drinking stylista from Chicago. I started She's a Millennial to serve as a space that unites, empowers and excites millennial women to make the most out of life.

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